


Control: About Love

by WritingEmi



Series: Control [3]
Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Community: yj_anon_meme, Depression, First Time, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insecure Wally West, Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Recovery, Teen Romance, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 07:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11352396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingEmi/pseuds/WritingEmi
Summary: Wally tries to navigate his increasing feelings for Dick and his confusion over the exact nature of their relationship, but he doesn't always know how to deal with his doubts and insecurities in a healthy way.The much slashier sequel to Control.





	Control: About Love

**Author's Note:**

> Migrating my old stories over to A3O. This was a sequel to a yj_anon_meme prompt that I wrote many years ago.
> 
> I may add more chapters later :)

“Can I ask you a question and you promise not to tell anyone?”

“Wally, you know that our conversations are private. I do not reveal anything we speak about to anyone, not even to your uncle.”

Wally nodded his head and his eyes were fixed to the floor as he refused to look up at the Martian Manhunter. He knew he could trust J’onn, he had been putting his trust in J’onn for over a year now. He confessed his thoughts, fears and emotions to the stoic looking Martian and found an understanding ear and confidant. But time it was different.

“Wally, does this concern Rudolph or Mary West?” There was genuine worry in J’onn’s voice. When Wally was hesitant to speak it often concerned the Wests.

The teen sighed and shook his head, even as he flinched at their names. He was grateful that J’onn didn’t call them his parents, they weren’t, but it always hurt him a little to hear their names. He was also grateful for J’onn’s sense of boundaries, it would be easy for the Martian to take the information straight from Wally’s head, but he never did.

“No, it’s not like that. Not that serious.” He fiddled with the watch on his wrist. It was a gift from Dinah from the first Christmas they spent together. She had said that she wanted to buy him something nice, along with a variety of books, videogames and clothes he received that holiday. He couldn’t remember the last time he had received so much, couldn’t remember when the shelves in his room looked so full.

A gentle hand touched Wally’s shoulder, bringing him back to the present. J’onn spoke quietly, “You know that I will not judge you.”

“Yeah, I know.” The teen took a deep breath. “Whenisagoodagetostarthavingsex?”

The Martian blinked.

Wally took another breath and slowed himself down. “When is a good age to start having sex?” His voice shook slightly and it didn’t escape J’onn’s notice.

“May I assume that you are speaking about having a sexual relationship with Robin?”

The speedster nodded, suddenly having lost the ability to speak.

“I did not realize that your relationship with him had reached that point.”

He swallowed and neither confirmed or denied that it had. The truth was that it really hadn’t. In fact, Wally wasn’t sure if he was Dick’s boyfriend or not. Despite the fact that for over a year they cuddled together, held hands, said how much they cared about each other, and occasionally exchanged innocent kisses, Wally didn’t know. Dick never pushed anything, never indicated that he wanted more or that he wanted change.

It was fine. It was good.

Until Dick took Barbara Gordon to his homecoming dance.

And Wally only had himself to blame. Dick had shrugged off the dance, said that he wasn’t going, but Wally didn’t want that. He didn’t want Dick to give up one of the rare normal events of his life for Wally. He had urged Dick to go, especially since Wally had gone with friends to dances before. He went with girls who were from his science club, who admired Roy from afar, who thought that Wally was adorable, girls who were safe. So it only seemed natural for Dick to do the same, and in all honesty, Wally was really ok with it.

He had initially thought that Dick might ask Artemis. Mostly to freak her out as she still didn’t know that Dick Grayson was Robin and Dick had a bit of a bratty sense of humor that Wally appreciated greatly. That would’ve been ideal. They both would’ve had a good laugh over Artemis’s reaction and he knew that the two of them would’ve had a good time together as friends. But Robin didn’t ask Artemis, he asked Barbara Gordon. The beautiful, intelligent, perfect redhead, who recently made her debut as Batgirl and who only had eyes for Dick Grayson.

They looked painfully like any ordinary teenage couple in the pictures Alfred took.

“Wally?”

The teen looked up at J’onn. “It hasn’t,” Wally admitted. “I was just wondering.”

“It is normal to be curious about sex, however do not push it. Allow your relationship to develop naturally.” J’onn looked like he was about to say more, but Superman’s voice cut in from the Martian’s communicator, asking for assistance. The Martian stood and frowning apologetically at the teen. “Wally, I—”

“I know. No need to explain.”

J’onn nodded his head in thanks and quickly left Wally’s room at Mount Justice, which they frequently used for his sessions. Wally hung back, wondering if Dinah had been called in too. She wasn’t on duty that day with the Justice League, so probably not unless the call had been end-of-the-world urgent. Dinah was probably at home, waiting for him as Wally had promised he’d return straight from his session with J’onn, but instead he loitered. Before he would have promptly left and gone straight home especially after telling Dinah he’d be back, he wouldn’t leave Dinah to worry about where he might be.

Right now, though …

Wally shuffled out of the room and down the empty hall. He could hear the echoes of his teammates chatter and laughter from somewhere inside their base and made a conscious effort to avoid them. Instead, he headed outside and into the sun, moving slowly towards Happy Harbor.

He was in no hurry to be anywhere.

-

Dinah’s mouth was pressed into a firm line, trying to reign in her frustration. “Do you understand why I’m grounding you?”

Wally nodded, but he didn’t look at her from where he was sitting on the couch. Dinah stood in front of him, expecting to get some sort of reaction from the teen.

“Wally, why am I grounding you?”

The boy just sighed.

“Wally.”

He still looked firmly away, but answered, “Stayed out too late.”

“No, that’s not just it.” Dinah knelt down in front of Wally and gently took his face in her hands, lifting it so he met her eyes. “Wally, you were wandering around Happy Harbor all night without calling me or telling anyone, I had to get Conner to go out and find you. You turned off your communicator and cell phone right after a session with J’onn and he was off on a mission, so I didn’t know if something happened that upset you. I didn’t know if you had run away, been hurt, or something worse had happened to you.”

Wally held her gaze for a second longer, before dropping it. He remained silent, but guilt was creeping up on his face. The concern in her voice was reaching him.

“Wally, when you’re ready you can tell me what’s been going on with you. I have some ideas, but I want to hear it from you. I know things have been tough lately and we’re all dealing with the stress in different ways. I love you, Wally, and I want you to know that you’re not alone in anything that you’re going through.”

Patting the boy on the cheek, Dinah got up to give him space, but stopped when Wally spoke. “I know I’m grounded, but can I still go see Roy?”

Dinah wavered a moment. She obviously wanted to ban all visits with friends for the week, but with the way Roy was acting recently, she wasn’t sure. “I’ll tell him to come here. He won’t say no if he knows that you’ve asked for him.”

Wally nodded and was visibly relieved. “What about Robin?” He pushed on.

“You’ll see him at training,” Dinah said as she gave him an exasperated smile and ruffled his hair. “If you’re good, he can come by at the end of the week.”

Dinah seemed satisfied when Wally gave her a weak smile. She left to order dinner and Wally was alone in the living room with his own thoughts. He had been toeing the line for a while now, not coming home quite on time and not checking in as often. He pushed little by little and finally there were consequences, he was put into his place. It wasn’t quite the reaction he was expecting or used to, but he knew now.

Later that night, Wally snuck a phone call to Dick to let him know that they wouldn’t be able to see each other outside of training that week. Dinah never explicitly said that he couldn’t call his friends, but he didn’t want to ask in case the answer was no.

“That sucks,” Dick sighed on the phone. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Wally replied. School and other obligations had been keeping them apart more than usual as of late.

“I guess that means you can’t come to that fundraiser in Gotham with me.”

“I couldn’t go to begin with, press and all.”

“Oh, right.”

“Yeah.”

A long pause hung between them.

“Do you mind if I take Barbara? I mean, she’s going to be there anyway, it is a fundraiser for the police department.”

Wally’s grip tightened on his cell phone. “That sounds like a good idea. I think you’ll have fun with her.”

“I think so too.”

Their conversation didn’t last much longer after that and Wally found himself alone in his room, staring down at the phone in his hand. Resisting the sudden and irrational urge to throw his phone against the wall, Wally got up and set about the task of straightening up his room. Stacks of books and papers had piled on his desk, clothes were spread out on the floor, and a million other little items were strewn about the room.

Methodically, Wally put away each item, tucking them out of sight until every surface was clear, making the room look barren, void of any trace of him, and bringing an odd sense of security to Wally. After he was finished, he sat down on the edge of his bed, not doing anything until it was time for bed.

-

There had been a point after finding out that Roy was a clone that Wally did his best not to burden the other teen with his problems. He couldn’t bring himself to whine about nightmares when Roy’s problems were so much bigger than his own. But when he saw the way that Roy was slipping away and had lost all confidence in himself, Wally began to confide in him more than usual.

“There are some things I can’t talk to Dick about,” Wally had told him while the other boy was packing so he could go find Speedy.

“No, there isn’t,” Roy answered roughly. “If you snap your fingers, Boy Wonder will be here in a second. He loves you.”

“And I love him,” Wally confessed, “but he doesn’t understand like you do. Dick always tries to fix things, and hey, the guy gets results, but I don’t always need that. I just need somebody to talk to.”

Roy stuffed another shirt into his duffle bag. “That’s what you have J’onn for.”

“That’s what I have you for.” Wally took a step closer and Roy kept on packing. “Roy, last summer—”

The archer’s movements slowed significantly.

“I couldn’t stand to be around anyone else. All these decisions about my future were being made, the team was treating me differently, and I couldn’t stand it. I went to that ice cream shop so you could find me.” He had never said it out loud before that moment. “Nobody else would’ve thought to look there.”

“Wally …”

Coming up behind of Red Arrow, Wally pressed himself up against his back and wrapped his arms around the archer’s torso, whispering, “Please, Roy.”

“Damn it, Wally,” Roy sighed before turning over his duffle bag and letting his clothes fall onto the bed.

It had worked, though a part of Wally wondered if he was being selfish for keeping Roy tethered to him in that way. He often wondered what would have happened if he had allowed Red Arrow to go his own way to find Speedy, but he couldn’t bear the thought of Roy abandoning him. He had enough self-awareness to recognize that he had used guilt and his own need to keep Roy in Star City.

Wally didn’t regret his manipulation. Not even as he listened to Roy rant and rave at him.

“Dinah’s been worried sick about you lately! How can you put her through this? How can you be so irresponsible?” Roy paced the length of the living room, his hands balled up into fists.

Wally was sprawled on the couch and shrugged. He was only a day into his punishment and the boredom was already eating him alive. He had hoped that Roy’s anger might distract him from his grounding, but it did little to soothe the restlessness that had been consuming the speedster since that morning.

“What’s wrong with you!?” Roy snapped when Wally didn’t answer him. The lines of anger on his face smoothed over when Wally shrugged again and were replaced with concern. “Wally, what’s wrong?”

Wally opened his mouth, but the sound of Roy’s phone ringing made his mouth shut.

The archer glanced at the screen of his phone and made the decision to answer it. “Jade, what do you have for me?”

The speedster slumped further into the couch until Roy finally hung up the phone a minute a later. “It was about him, wasn’t it? Did Artemis’s sister find anything?” Wally asked quietly.

The moment to worry about Wally’s problems was over and the persistent mystery of Speedy’s whereabouts had resurfaced. He knew that Roy was going to leave any second to follow up on whatever lead Jade found. He might have anchored Roy to Star City, but it in many ways it didn’t stop the archer’s search for Speedy.

Instead, Roy sat down on the couch next to Wally. “Order a pizza and we’ll watch a movie.”

“Roy—”

“And for god’s sake, leave the pineapple off this time.”

“Yeah, ok.” Wally resettled on the couch, resting his weight against Roy’s shoulder.

If Wally wasn’t there with his problems, Roy would certainly be out looking for Speedy. Maybe Roy would’ve found Speedy by now, maybe he’d be better off, but Wally couldn’t bring himself to regret it. But he did regret his own selfishness.

-

Wally winced as his uncle struck his shoulder, hitting it much lighter than necessary, but hard enough to let him know that his maneuvers were not improving.

“That was too slow. You’re getting careless, Kid.”

While Wally could say for a fact that overall his life was better than it was a year ago, there were aspects of his old life that he desperately missed. Such as openly being his uncle’s sidekick in Central City. Now that he lived in Star City, Wally didn’t see Barry nearly as often as he used to and the need to stay hidden from his parents meant that he could no longer run alongside the Flash. That was painful, worse than any wound he ever encountered.

That didn’t mean that he hung up his running shoes and goggles for good. He still went on missions with the team, ran patrols in Star City and Gotham with his friends, and occasionally he worked with the Flash on stealth missions. It wasn’t the same though and training at Mount Justice with Barry didn’t make up for the long hours of patrol and crime fighting he was missing. It didn’t make up for the fact that he missed his mentor.

“You need to run your drills every day.”

Wally rolled his eyes. The drills weren’t the problem. “I know.”

The Flash crossed his arms, obviously not liking the tone in the teenager’s voice. “You have to stay disciplined and keep up your routine. That little extra speed might save your life one day.”

“I know.”

“Wally, you need to take this seriously.”

“I _know_.”

Tugging back his cowl, Barry Allen made his displeasure known to his nephew. “We’re calling it an early day, your head obviously isn’t in this.”

That wasn’t what Wally wanted, not by a long shot. But he didn’t know how to tell his uncle how he felt. How training didn’t feel important at the moment, but spending time with Uncle Barry was. How he felt terrible about making Roy stay, but he couldn’t let him go. How he wanted to keep pushing Dinah’s limits, but he didn’t want to make her mad. How he loved Dick, but wasn’t sure what to do with that love. Instead he tucked those feelings away, stored them neatly out of sight.

Barry gripped Wally’s shoulder and gave him a half smile. “Come on, get changed and we’ll go get lunch.”

Wally let out a breath he didn’t know that he was holding, relieved that his uncle wasn’t going to cut short their time together. After they both changed out of their uniforms, they hit Happy Harbor and to one of Wally’s favorite burger places. It wasn’t unusual for them to grab a meal after training, but their conversation was stilted and finally faded. Only the sound of their chewing filled the disappointing silence.

“Dinah’s been worried about you,” Barry said towards the end of their meal, obviously not used to having to speak to his nephew this way. “So have I. Wally, you can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?”

“I know.”

Barry frowned. He placed his hand over Wally’s arm and squeezed, “Please, Wally. Talk to me. I know this has been a hard year, but you’re worrying me.”

If there had been anything that Barry Allen had learned, it was to keep an eye on Wally and to make Wally’s private life his business. He knew that Dinah would never let anything happen to his nephew, but he refused to take anything for granted in regards to his partner. Even with Dinah providing him with a stable home, there was always the chance that Wally might have been found out by his father or mother. With that worry, Barry found that he often spoke to J’onn, not trying to pry into his sessions with the teen, but trying to feel out if there was anything amiss with the teen. 

Wally saw the desperate look in Barry’s eyes and audibly sighed. “It’s nothing drastic. Nothing like, you know, it’s not about _them_.”

The lines of tension on Barry’s face faded, but didn’t fully disappear.

“It’s just …” Wally trailed off and stared down at his untouched fries. “I miss you and Aunt Iris, ok?” It wasn’t everything, but he had to give his uncle something that he could actually fix.

-

“You’re in a better mood today. I take it that training went well with Barry?” Ollie placed dinner on the table while Wally put down the plates.

Wally shrugged and smiled a little at Ollie. Ollie wasn’t over every night, but he was at the condo more often than not. It was surprising how easily Ollie found a place in Wally’s life, becoming something between a father and an older brother figure to him. There were times when the older archer dispensed valuable advice and other times when Ollie’s laid back attitude made him resemble an affectionate sibling than an authority figure, which often got on Dinah’s nerves.

“Not really, but Uncle Barry and I had a good talk.”

“Good,” Ollie bumped his shoulder. “I heard that you’re officially ungrounded, are you going to go paint the town red with Roy and Robin?”

Wally didn’t answer that. He was done with his punishment as of that morning, but he hadn’t heard a word from Dick and Roy had dropped out of sight, meaning that he was tracking a lead on Speedy. There was no celebration of his freedom with his best friends and instead Wally spent his afternoon torturing himself by going online to look at pictures from the police fundraiser in Gotham. Of course the celebrity sites had pictures of Dick Grayson and his stunning redheaded date. A redhead who wasn’t Wally.

“I might ground him again if he doesn’t shape up in training,” Dinah cut in as she came in with drinks for everyone. “Barry spoke to me this afternoon about it.”

“Hey, obviously grounding Wally does nothing for his concentration. Kids need some freedom.”

“Kids also need some discipline.”

Wally made a show of rolling his eyes at both of them as they sat down for dinner, but he didn’t interrupt their bickering. He often just let their words wash over him, it was almost soothing. It was one of the moments that he could pretend that he had a normal life and he could pretend that he had two concerned parents bickering over the best way to raise him.

The teen listened to their exchange as the dishes clinked quietly as they grabbed their dinner. Wally’s hands remained in his lap, unmoving towards the food until Dinah worriedly insisted that he eat.

Wally went to bed early that night. Dinah had been concerned about his appetite and declared that he felt a little warm. He didn’t protest when she told him to go to bed and shut himself inside the darkness of his room. Not bothering to turn on the light, he moved towards the window and Wally wondered if he should unlock the window in case Dick decided to drop by. Not that the lock would stop the Boy Wonder, but it was the thought that counted, it showed his faith. His fingers hovered over the latch before he snatched his hand away, leaving the window locked.

After stripping off his clothes and putting on his pajamas, Wally flopped down onto his bed.

“Ow!”

“Dude!”

Wally scrambled to one side of the bed and jerked back the covers to reveal Dick grinning in the darkness.

“What are you doing here?”

“I missed you! I didn’t get to see you all week and I _know_ that Roy did. Did you really think I’d miss out on your first day of freedom?”

Hesitating for a fraction of a second, a long fraction to a speedster, Wally shook his head. “No.”

Dick reached out and grabbed Wally’s hand, lacing their fingers together. The way Dick looked at him made Wally believe that he was the only person in the world. He knew that was how Dick felt too, at least when they were together. Everything and everyone else came second to Wally, but the speedster was afraid that was all forgotten when they were apart.

Leaning forward, Wally pressed his mouth against Dick’s in a less than innocent way and the tightness in his chest lessened when the younger teen responded immediately and with enthusiasm. 

“Wally,” Dick murmured against his lips, his hands grasping at Wally’s pajama top, pulling at it. “Can I …?”

“Yes, anything,” Wally whispered back, wrapping his arms around Dick, drawing him closer and pressing their bodies together.

Wally didn’t want to be forgotten.


End file.
